Toni drinks nail polish.
It is her tonic, her poison,
her sanctuary, her Drug of Choice.
Clear is better than color,
but either will do just fine.

This started small:
a little lick of the wet fingernail,
a nip out of the bottle, to see the taste,
to feel the tiny high, and then
the head thrown back, the
nail polish bottle emptied,
down the hatch, like a shot of vodka,
one bottle, then two bottles a day,
then three, the empty jars rolling around
on the floor under the bed.

Toni complains of stomach pains,
she doesn't eat much when I see her,
blaming lack of appetite on the 
Manhattan summer. She knows that it
is the effect of drinking nail polish for
eight years.  Toni loses the feeling in
her left foot.  Nerve damage, her
physician informs her.  She will not
regain the feeling, even if she stops now.

Toni is desperate to quit this addiction.
She doesn't want to be a slave to clear
Wet 'n' Wild forever.  In a cafe on the
lower east side, Toni confesses to Chi and I.
I watch cockroaches crawl up the exposed
brick wall and think: nothing Toni does
suprises me.  A voodoo woman keeps counsel
with her mother; she has parrots in her
living room; she auditions for Rent, has
monthly mental breakdowns; she entertains
entire relationships in her mind. Toni is
addicted to nail polish.

She tells us that this is behind her;
that she has quit. She prefers to smoke
pot instead. I'm happy to call her and 
find her smoking a joint.  I'm glad she
is not downing another shot of nail polish.

The truth is, she has not yet quit the habit,
she has gone underground instead.  Toni buys
nail polish on the way to work, ducks into
a stairwell to take her dose, throws her 
bottle into a public rubish bin, secretly
keeping Wet 'n' Wild in business for years.

In her latest effort to end her addiction,
Toni seeks out a hypnotherapist who urges her
to share her addiction with friends, relatives.
My sister phones me, asking if I know of this.
Toni confesses to her in St. Mark's Ale House,
as I confess to you now: this is stranger than
most addiction, this is absolutely true.
Toni drinks nail polish. 
Clear is better than color,
but either will do just fine.